Oh the things I have learned today

I can't say it enough, I love my neighborhood!  Irvington is a small historic neighborhood 10 minutes east of downtown Indy.  It was one of the first Indianapolis Suburbs.  This summer they have been re-paving Washington Street (Old HWY 40 that splits Irvington in half) and you could see the old rail tracks from the cable cars that used to run from downtown.  Oh how I wish they were still running.  Very cool but not the reason I am in love with my neighborhood today.  Today was the 2nd annual Irvington Skill Share.  People gathered to share skills they have learned.  I LOVED it.  I rode my bike to a church in the neighborhood and learned how to make a no-knead bread, how to knit socks, save seeds from my garden for the spring, make cheese, and re-purpose fabric.  I got so many ideas and immediately came home and harvested seeds from my lettuce and bean plants.  I also found out that I can plant my lettuce seeds now for another harvest this fall.  LOVE IT!

I feel like a kid.  Now that I actually have time to do things outside of work I may not be as financially rich but boy am I rich in ideas and relationships that I am able to build now that I have more balance.  Today is a good day!

Dear Tween Tara...

I am feeling quite reflective tonight after hearing that the mother of a dear friend of mine lost her battle with Cancer today.  LP you will be dearly missed by everyone who had the fortune of encountering you and your wisdom, calm nature and wonderful advice.  You raised an amazing and wonderful son and daughter.  Your memory will live on forever.

 I often think back to when I was a little girl lying in bed dreaming about the woman I would become.  I loved books on spells and witchcraft and always checked them out from the library. (Now that I think about it, my uber Catholic parents were pretty cool with that).   There was one "Spell" (I was so ahead of Harry Potter) that was supposed to show you a reflection of your future husband or wife in the mirror if you chanted it in a dark room.  We had a HUGE mirror in the kids bathroom and try as I might, I was too afraid to follow through with it.  I think part of me was afraid it wouldn't work but the bigger part of me thought it might and I was concerned that I wouldn't like what I saw!  Well little girl, you would have liked what you saw.  Well, I guess that depends on if it would have shown John at that age and at that age I'm pretty sure he still had his rat tail and well...let's just say I hope the spell would not have shown me at that time.  I had two braces on my two front teeth and pink glasses with stars on the side.  Boy we would have been a match!

So, this blog is a message to little Tween Tara the worry wart: That mole on the side of your nose, you know, the one the size of a pencil tip?  Yeah, no one even realizes it's there so quit freaking out about it.  Oh and you are not fat.  You have adorable chubby cheeks with dimples and the braces work.  You will have no more gap in your teeth.  You will have lasik eye surgery and lose the glasses.  It will be 5 minutes of pure hell but you will get over it and it will be wonderful.

You have a great time in college where you will meet your soul mates in the form of sorority sisters.  They will empower you and make you realize that high school was a bit of a sham and that the hormones got in the way of joy.  (You even get to know people you thought were kind of jerks in high school and they become awesome in college.)  You meet friends that will hold your hair back on your 21st birthday. you will meet the friends that stand with you on your wedding day and when you find out those friends are going to become moms you will cry every time.  Those friends become the most wonderful parents in the world and their children will bring tears to your eyes too.  You will share other tears too and not just those of joy.  You will walk over hot coals for them if they need it and wish you could take away their pain and loss for them and they would do the same for you.

Your sucky sister and brother?  Yeah, it takes awhile but you all become very close and hearing about their engagements, marriages and births bring on a whole other set of tears.  They bring you the most special little people to your life.  You can't even imagine loving someone as much as you love those little nephews.

Your "mean" parents that torture you by making you do chores, work in the yard and cook dinner?  It turns out they are pretty smart but you won't realize that until much later.  (You have to let your hormones get settled before that happens) and these days you LOVE to cook and do your best to cook dinner for your own family every night.  It is now cooking and yard work that calms those worries and anxieties.  Cleaning? Sorry, you still hate that.  What you will find out is that your parents enable you to spread your wings and fly by offering just the right amount of love and support.  They let you fall just enough to learn from the feeling of pain but would never let you fall on your face.  Kind of like how they taught you to ride a bike.  You skinned your knee but you didn't bust your head.  They teach you all kinds of things just like riding a bike only it's stuff like buying a house, car, insurance and more.  You may hate their lessons now but really, they know their stuff.

Oh and the heartbreak?  Yeah, I'm sorry.  It's gonna suck and it's gonna suck bad for awhile and it's not just one heartbreaker so hold on.  It gets better I promise though you will lose faith many times.  Then, just like they said it would, it comes when you least expect it.  You will meet this guy and not even have a clue you like him or he likes you.  It takes 6 years for it all to sort itself out but stick with it!  It is SOOOOO worth it.  You end up with two dogs, two cats, a beautiful home and the party is just getting started.

So, Tween Tara the worry wart, I have good news and I have bad news.

The bad news: there will be tears and there will be many and you never stop being a worrier but you kind of start to deal with it.  You have to treat it like a chronic illness and know that the worry is always lurking. It's part of you.

Now the good news: you are happy!  You find love, true friendship and great dogs.  You can have your cake and eat it too and well, you still have chubby cheeks but you eventually start to think they are kinda nice.  So hang in there. The best is yet to come.

Why do this?

For nearly 3 months now I have been interning for Career Investments.  I have to say that it is a wonderful partnership and I absolutely love my 3 bosses.  They are smart, funny, gracious, and continuous learners.

Sooo you know there's a but...I'm hoping someone out there can give me some insight.  So here goes...

I have wanted to be a career consultant ever since I graduated college.  I had even forgotten that fact until I found a list I made soon after graduated.  In this list I wrote down a dream description of my future life.  On this list I was married to a wonderful man (Check), had a beautiful home with a garden (Check) and many other things, (Check, check and check) but I also wrote down that I wanted to be a life coach or career counselor (Check).  I had forgotten this or at least put it out of my mind while I was going down a different career path but here I am.

What's the problem you ask?  Well the problem is that my focus in this new endeavor is recent college graduates that need help breaking into the career field of their dreams.  I KNOW deep down in my heart that there are hundreds and thousands of college graduates out there that could use some additional help upon graduation to figure out "Now what?!"  Maybe they know what career field they want to go in to but haven't had luck getting there.  Maybe they have a liberal arts or a general degree and are not sure how to best utilize their strengths and are unsure of what career field to get in to so they are frozen, unable to go in any direction because there are too many directions to try!  I know they are out there.  Hell, I have been that person more times than I can count.  The problem?  Finding these people and letting them know that there is help out there.

This help does not just apply to those that are directly out of college.  In fact, up until this point the company I work for has primarily focused on the adult market of career changers and/or people that are looking for a career boost to that higher level position they crave.  They have done very well in this market and have worked with a handful of college grads, all of which are huge fans of our company for this help.  The problem is that I want to help more of them.

We are holding free seminars for the parents of recent graduates where we discuss how to help motivate your grads rather than alienating them after graduation.  In a nutshell, "Are your kid and you driving each other nuts now that graduation was 3 months ago?  Let us help so you don't kill one another."  Click here if it sounds helpful to you or someone you know.

I am also looking to match up with local alumni groups to host some networking events with a free seminar on how to best network to increase success in the job hunt.  If you know of someone involved with an alumni group or any other organizations that would be interested in having this event for members, please let me know. telder@careerinvestments.com

Last but not least, if you just know someone that could use some help in their professional life, let me know.  I started out as a client and each time I walked out the door I felt like I finally had a plan and more direction.  It truly is the best feeling ever.  Being stuck in a job that breaks you down instead of building you up is such a stressor that can effect other areas in your life.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  It's empowering!  So if you know of anyone that can use some help, let me know.  I know they are out there.  I just want to reach more of them.

**Shameless Plug!***

I just realized that it's been awhile since I last posted and I can't really blame it on anything other than my life has been quiet for awhile now.  Peacefully, wonderfully quiet.  Ahhhh...

Things are still going well with my internship with Career Investments.  In fact, I will add a shameless plug to this little blog.  This Wednesday, July 13th we are hosting a free seminar for the parents of recent college graduates that may be struggling with getting their career started upon graduation.  Often parents don't know how to help their kids without causing WW3 in their house (assuming they are again living together). Whether the parents and kids are again co-habitating or not, the conversation often comes out as Parent: "What are you doing to get a job?"  Kid: "Geeze, I'm working on it.  Get off my back!"  The "kids" are at that stage where they are adults but are likely still relying on their parents for financial and perhaps even emotional help and the parents would like to assist in the process in some way but it often comes off as nagging.  Our seminar is centered around giving parents tips and tools to help with their side of the communication and ways to assist their grads in the search with the hopes of minimizing the feeling of "nagging" by the grad and instead empowering them in their search for independence.  If you know someone who may be interested in the seminar, send them to: Career Investments Parent Session

In personal news, I have started volunteering for the Irvington Development Organization to help with fundraising efforts for the improvement of my neighborhood.  They have been "trying" to raise the remaining $50,000 of a $300,000 campaign for the last 5 years.  There is a sign outside of our library with a tick mark counting down to the final amount and it's been so close for so long it was driving me crazy! (The mark is now at the very last tic-mark)

So I decided I needed to do something about it and I contacted the organization.  Come to find out that the fund-raising  committee has been all but defunct for the last 5 years and construction is slated to begin in the next few months so now is the crucial time.  I am now one of 3 fundraisers for the newly founded fundraising committee.  None of us has a background in this but we are doing our best and searching for grants, donors, etc.  If anyone has been involved in community fundraisers and has any advice for me, please pass it along.  I feel like $50,000 is nothing and broken down into small pieces it should totally be manageable so here goes!  It looks like I prefer to volunteer to throw myself into bureaucratic situations but professionally I find myself staying as far away from those situations as possible.  Hey, I have no problem asking people for money for something I believe in and I completely believe in helping my neighborhood develop into something greater.  Donate to the Irvington Streetscape Project here.

Hello Mrs. Schnelder, it's been awhile.

I realize that I have fallen from my semi-regular blogging ritual so today I thought I would take a moment to bring it up to date.  Life has been going smashingly well.  I am as happy as I can remember.  It seems my whole life I have been search of something.  It was, "I will be happy as soon as I...go to college...get my first real job...find the man of my dreams...marry the man of my dreams...get the next promotion...go to Dairy Queen" (that one found it's way into the mix pretty frequently and typically brings much happiness)  But in the past I would achieve the next accomplishment and immediately check it off the list and look for the next "thing" to accomplish, rarely taking the time to enjoy where I was.  I can say that for the last two months I have been appreciating every moment of every day just as it is.  I am exactly where I want to be and I want to hold on to the present for as long as I can. 

Things are going well at work as I help Career Investments launch their division for career consulting for the recent college graduate.  It's not moving as quickly as I had originally hoped but then again, that's ok.  I have had the time to take days in the middle of the week to spend at a lake house in Columbus with friends I hadn't seen in nearly a year, breakfast with a friend that finds herself in one of the hardest stages of her life, a pool party in Avon with all of my closest college friends and their new(ish) families.  John and I are the last married couple of that group to start a family and one friend asked me yesterday if being around all the babies makes me want to start a family that much sooner.  I answered honestly...not yet.  I love where I am and I love where our little family is.  We have had enough change and excitement in the last 6 months to carry us for at least another 6, so for now, I am exactly where I want to be. (and that's on top of my bed in my peaceful little bedroom with 2 dogs and 2 cats nestled around me on a Friday afternoon.)

One month has come and gone

When I started this journey it was the end of April.  It's hard to believe that today is the 2nd day of June.  It has been a great month and I have to say that it was great timing to have this transition take place in the spring.  Not only do I feel like I have grown immensely in the last month, I feel so fortunate to have had the time to dig in the soil and plant our first garden in our new home.  It is likely to be the biggest garden we will ever have at this house because when will I ever have a month "off" with no children, no full time job to worry about and time just to concentrate on whatever I want to do?  I have to admit that I went completely nuts on this garden and I am very happy about it.  I didn't realize how nuts I had gone until I went to write it out in an email to someone that had inquired about what I had decided to plant.  Here goes: we have 5 kinds of lettuce, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, brussels sprouts, mung beans, green beans, kohlrabi, squash, fennel, sweet yellow peppers, 3 kinds of hot peppers, zucchini, eggplant, celery, cucumbers, watermelon, 3 blackberry bushes, potatoes, tomatoes, basil, thyme, lavender, rosemary, mint, chives, oregano, savory, and cilantro.

Tomatoes and basil

Potatoes and cucumbers

Kohlrabi, zucchini, bush beans, eggplant, celery and cauliflower

Peppers, fennel, brussels sprouts and broccoli

Lettuce and outdoor herb garden.

Herb pots so I can move them inside in the winter.

Lovely strawberries!

I feel good!

I have been reflecting quite a bit on what got me into a negative spiral in my last career endeavor. I stopped putting myself first including going from healthy eating and taking time to go to the grocery store, cook, etc. and started eating whatever I could find on my way home from work at 9pm.  I stopped working out which is a huge an outlet for my stress and this contributed to the spiral as well.  In addition to neglecting these two very important pieces of the puzzle, I also took no time for myself to re-charge my batteries.   It seemed that every moment of every day was focused on work.  I even include time that I was sleeping, driving, showering, you name it, my brain was processing about work and all of the things I had not done.  I did not focus on all of the good things I was doing.  No, I could only see all of the things that were falling through the cracks.  That is not a good place for anyone to be.

Now don't go feeling sorry for me.  I did all of this to myself but I also recognize that though I had let it get to a state that was beyond unhealthy, I took steps to pick myself up, dust myself off and take time to heal.  That is what I have done for the last month.  This past month has been an extremely healing time in my life.  I have cooked nearly every daily meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I have seen friends and family that I had neglected for months and I began working out again.  In fact, I started running for the first time in several years and I plan on running a 5K at the end of July.

On the career front, I have been enjoying every minute I have been working for Career Investments.  I absolutely love it and I came home today more energized than when I left to go into the office.  I know that every job has its ups and downs, good parts and bad parts but I also believe that a career should overall energize you and build you up rather than break you down.  That's where I am right now.  I am beginning down a path that builds me up and it just so happens that the career path I am walking down is one that assists others in finding a career that energizes them as well.

Ahhh...I am again being good to myself and it feels incredible.  As my mother-in-law says, pain is a teacher and boy has that pain taught me a valuable lesson.  Pushing myself beyond my limits is helpful to no one and no thing, especially to myself.  I hope I always remember this most valuable lesson.